Hey, go find your own Mommy

We just got done with a fun filled few days with Papaw, Gary's Dad came for a short visit. While here we took the kids to the pool. She is still doing great in the water, swimming better and better. While there a man came up to us and was telling us how his step daughter had mild CP, and now she is doing great, she was there with him, she is 9. It was very sweet of him to offer their story, and to offer us encouraging words. The Mom was at work, and he was there with the 3 kids. He encouraged his daughter to hang out with Anastasia. Which she did. But since Anastasia still won't talk to others much, I did most the talking. I wasn't playing with the girl, just talking. I could tell Anastasia was not liking that one bit, and before I knew it she was in full melt down. She starting getting ugly toward me and crying, so I made her get out of the pool and sit down. She cried for 20 minutes. Once she calmed down, she told me that "you love Cody, you love Cooper, you love Daddy, you no love me" I held her close and kissed her cheeks bunches and told her I do love you, over and over, she just giggled and giggled. The sad part is, that is a real fear on her part. And one I remember well, I never felt like I looked like my sisters and brothers, or that I belonged like they did, since I was the only half sibing in the house. I don't know what would have made me not feel that way, but it was a real feeling to me, and it caused me a lot of pain as a child. I don't know if that feeling will ever go away completely for her. Siblings get jealous as it is, let alone when one comes into the family in a different way or by a different parent. I am trying my best. I routinely do things that will make her feel like part of our family, I can't just expect her to know that. One of the things I did was to add her to the boys growth chart, and mark her height on there, she was so excited and I could tell it was encouraging to her. But I can put myself in her shoes and know that it is going to take constant effort, I mean as an adopted child, being part of a family that already has children would be hard.