OK, this is a little bit funny, OK pretty funny. I have a dear friend from Church named Wendy. I have been getting comments from a Wendy pretty often. I know that Wendy from church reads my blog, so I thought they were from her. So today I send her an invite to lunch and to say thanks I love all the comments you leave on my blog. Hahahaha, only to get an email back saying that she has never left a comment, although she reads my blog. OOPS!! I have even replied back to "Wendy" thinking it was the Wendy from church.
So, embarrassingly I have to ask, Wendy do I know you. I think you are a follower of my blog that I do not know personally. But if I do actually know you in "real" forgive me.
---I have many friends whom I have met online, through blogs, etc... Fellow adoptive Moms or CP Moms, some who are just as dear to me and just as huge blessings as "real" friends whom I know in the flesh----
And Wendy whomever you are thank you for taking the time to leave me a comment. I seem to have lots of traffic from many states and countries but hardly any comments, so Thank you!!!!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
PE and Carousels Make Me Cry
So, my last post was Saturday Morning. Saturday afternoon's excersises and stretches went GREAT!!! I know this is due to our new change in scenery when it comes to her PT. Afterwards she said, "I can wear my earrings?" Haha, I had bought these really cute clip on earrings for her as an incentive. She wants her ears peirced but we are waiting for her birthday. I bought them about a month ago, the deal was, if she does a good job on her PT that day, then she gets to wear them. Well, she has gotten to wear them 2x in the past month. She had not even asked for them lately, because she knew what the answer would be. Sunday's PT was horrible again, crying, screaming, "Mommy why you like to hurt me, stop it, stop it" Those are just a few of her favorites!! I have also been scratched, and she has tried to bite me once. I can tell you that there is no difference in what I am doing or the intensity of it, it's all in her attitude. She knows that, and has claimed it, which is a great step towards making it better. Yesterday she did great again. I can tell you that having 2great days so close together has never happened before, and it has been great. Not only because she progresses so much faster, I don't get assualted, etc... But since there are no temper flaring or punishments to serve, I actually get to just enjoy her. There are so many fun things I want to do with her or show her, but I can't when the day has been preceded with scratching, refusal to work, etc...
Saturday we took the kids to a little festival on base. She loved it. I have not seen her smile that big in a while. She had never ridden a carousel before, it made my eyes well up with tears to see how happy she was. I mean what kid hasn't ridden on a carousel. She also rode one of those spinny rides with Cody, she was smooshing him cause she was sitting on the inside, she was laughing so hard. She is also doing PE now, sometimes on her own, sometimes I go. That made me cry too.
The searcher is supposed to have the meeting today with her grandfather. Actually due to the time difference, it should have already happened.
Saturday we took the kids to a little festival on base. She loved it. I have not seen her smile that big in a while. She had never ridden a carousel before, it made my eyes well up with tears to see how happy she was. I mean what kid hasn't ridden on a carousel. She also rode one of those spinny rides with Cody, she was smooshing him cause she was sitting on the inside, she was laughing so hard. She is also doing PE now, sometimes on her own, sometimes I go. That made me cry too.
The searcher is supposed to have the meeting today with her grandfather. Actually due to the time difference, it should have already happened.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Training (and training.. and.. training) a Child in the Way They Should Go
SO, where have I been you ask? Refer back to the title of this post. First of all Anastasia is doing great. No, that's not a she's doing great, everything is perfect, I mean she is doing great considering.
First of all in school- She is catching up quickly
Lack of vocabluary holds her back in some situations, she can't comprehend quick enought to act as quickly as the other children. Part of this is due to lack of comprehension the other part is due to her not paying attention.
Math is going great, she picks it up quickly, she can do addition, subtractions, up to number 10 and sometimes above, she can count by 5 and 10s, which I was not expecting yet. She is starting to memorize money and their values, this is proving to be more difficult for her.
REading is harder than math for her but she is still doing good in it. She knows all the sounds of the letter and can sound out small words, she is learning sight words and does well on her reading comprehension tests, although we are still doing the most simple of books, she is doing better and better.
Almost all of her difficulties come from her not paying attention, talking, etc.. She has had her seat moved, which was needed and has helped. People still baby her, teachers, students and parents alike. At this point I'm not sure why. I mean there is a reason she is not in in special ed, she is normal cognitively, but that is not how people treat her. Her teacher is holding her accountable for her actions, and I hope everyone else will get used to her and follow suit, becuase her being the center of attention all the time is not helping her behavior one bit. And I've never known a strong person who got that way by others babying them.
Overall in things other than PT I would say things are going much better than to be expected. PT is torture. I work with her everyday. Her and Gary clash and nothing gets done when he tries to work with her, although this is improving some. PT is full of nothing but self pity, anger, whining, acting out, crying, drama, etc... I know why, I mean she has never had to do anything before she came to us. It's not like any other child with CP who has had this their whole life. But this is beyond that, unfortunely part of her personality. She does not want to work, she does not care if she gets better or worse, if she never had to work again and that meant she couldn't walk, she would be fine with that. There is no self motivation, only self pity. I work and work to instill in her pride about the improvements she has made so far. She sees the evidence, but truly hates to work physically in any way shape or form. Do I sound harsh? Yes, is it the truth? Yes. Was I hoping things would turn around so I wouldn't have to do this post? Yes. Have I given up? No, no, no.
Last week I got a blessing, we got in at the PT clinic here in town. And she has started with a new therapist 2x a week. This therapist is on the same page as me, and is not babying Anastasia. This is a blessing to me because I was the only person holding Anastasia accountable, I was the bad guy all the time. Especially since her old therapist hardly made her do anything and she babied her. Now Anastasia sees that she really does have to work, not only for Mommy. And it takes some of the guilt off of me, I mean this is not fun. I tried to make it fun with prizes, silliness, etc.. None of this helped.
Just this week I found shoes that fit over her afos, that are much less bulky than her other shoes, she is able to walk smoother in them, and also able to sit criss cross apple sauce in them. Well I was observing her in class on Thursday and she was sitting on the floor with everyone else for a lesson. I told her to sit criss cross applesauce, she had done it on her own all during PE the day before without realizing it. So I tell her to do it, no big deal. She just looked at me. So got down on the floor in front of her and told her again, still calm. She just looks at me and smirks. I tell her one more time, then I tell her not to come out to the hall so we can talk. She says sitting that way hurts her booty, hmm, didn't hurt yesterday in PE. And besides she hadn't even tried, she was just plain defiant. So I tell her she will have a punishment to serve when we get home, when Mommy tells you to do something just to not do it is not an option. Well to make a point she went right back into that classroom and did not sit the way I told her to.
Why is this so hard. I mean when she has music and PE and is able to dance like the other children, on her own, something she couldn't do before, she gets a huge smile on her face, she is happy. When she can bend her knees and jump, just barely getting her little feet off the ground, she is so excited. She wants to do what the other children are doing. But if it gets her attention to not do it, she would rather take that road. I don't understand it. But I'm not giving up. I want her to be successful, happy, motivated, all that she can be. Not to sound corny. I don't want her to grow up to be self absorbed, self pitying, just waiting for someone to enable her. We all know people like that. Are they your true friends? Do they love God or do they hate them for the situations they are in? Are they self reliant?
If she ends up like that my heart will break. So right now we are training, training, training, and training this child in the way she should go.
First of all in school- She is catching up quickly
Lack of vocabluary holds her back in some situations, she can't comprehend quick enought to act as quickly as the other children. Part of this is due to lack of comprehension the other part is due to her not paying attention.
Math is going great, she picks it up quickly, she can do addition, subtractions, up to number 10 and sometimes above, she can count by 5 and 10s, which I was not expecting yet. She is starting to memorize money and their values, this is proving to be more difficult for her.
REading is harder than math for her but she is still doing good in it. She knows all the sounds of the letter and can sound out small words, she is learning sight words and does well on her reading comprehension tests, although we are still doing the most simple of books, she is doing better and better.
Almost all of her difficulties come from her not paying attention, talking, etc.. She has had her seat moved, which was needed and has helped. People still baby her, teachers, students and parents alike. At this point I'm not sure why. I mean there is a reason she is not in in special ed, she is normal cognitively, but that is not how people treat her. Her teacher is holding her accountable for her actions, and I hope everyone else will get used to her and follow suit, becuase her being the center of attention all the time is not helping her behavior one bit. And I've never known a strong person who got that way by others babying them.
Overall in things other than PT I would say things are going much better than to be expected. PT is torture. I work with her everyday. Her and Gary clash and nothing gets done when he tries to work with her, although this is improving some. PT is full of nothing but self pity, anger, whining, acting out, crying, drama, etc... I know why, I mean she has never had to do anything before she came to us. It's not like any other child with CP who has had this their whole life. But this is beyond that, unfortunely part of her personality. She does not want to work, she does not care if she gets better or worse, if she never had to work again and that meant she couldn't walk, she would be fine with that. There is no self motivation, only self pity. I work and work to instill in her pride about the improvements she has made so far. She sees the evidence, but truly hates to work physically in any way shape or form. Do I sound harsh? Yes, is it the truth? Yes. Was I hoping things would turn around so I wouldn't have to do this post? Yes. Have I given up? No, no, no.
Last week I got a blessing, we got in at the PT clinic here in town. And she has started with a new therapist 2x a week. This therapist is on the same page as me, and is not babying Anastasia. This is a blessing to me because I was the only person holding Anastasia accountable, I was the bad guy all the time. Especially since her old therapist hardly made her do anything and she babied her. Now Anastasia sees that she really does have to work, not only for Mommy. And it takes some of the guilt off of me, I mean this is not fun. I tried to make it fun with prizes, silliness, etc.. None of this helped.
Just this week I found shoes that fit over her afos, that are much less bulky than her other shoes, she is able to walk smoother in them, and also able to sit criss cross apple sauce in them. Well I was observing her in class on Thursday and she was sitting on the floor with everyone else for a lesson. I told her to sit criss cross applesauce, she had done it on her own all during PE the day before without realizing it. So I tell her to do it, no big deal. She just looked at me. So got down on the floor in front of her and told her again, still calm. She just looks at me and smirks. I tell her one more time, then I tell her not to come out to the hall so we can talk. She says sitting that way hurts her booty, hmm, didn't hurt yesterday in PE. And besides she hadn't even tried, she was just plain defiant. So I tell her she will have a punishment to serve when we get home, when Mommy tells you to do something just to not do it is not an option. Well to make a point she went right back into that classroom and did not sit the way I told her to.
Why is this so hard. I mean when she has music and PE and is able to dance like the other children, on her own, something she couldn't do before, she gets a huge smile on her face, she is happy. When she can bend her knees and jump, just barely getting her little feet off the ground, she is so excited. She wants to do what the other children are doing. But if it gets her attention to not do it, she would rather take that road. I don't understand it. But I'm not giving up. I want her to be successful, happy, motivated, all that she can be. Not to sound corny. I don't want her to grow up to be self absorbed, self pitying, just waiting for someone to enable her. We all know people like that. Are they your true friends? Do they love God or do they hate them for the situations they are in? Are they self reliant?
If she ends up like that my heart will break. So right now we are training, training, training, and training this child in the way she should go.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Birthfamily Search cont...
We recieved news today that the searcher in Russia has an appointment with her Grandfather in 10 days. That her grandfather is gathering family photos and is very excited. We could not ask for better results so far, we are so excited for her!!
Our priority is for her to have a photo of her birthmother and of course we would love to have some pictures of when she was smaller.
So, we eagerly await. If you pray, please pray over this appt. we want Anastasia to know as much as possible about her birth family, some details may not be appropriate for her now, but contact with her grandfather and a photo of her birthmother would be priceless.
Our priority is for her to have a photo of her birthmother and of course we would love to have some pictures of when she was smaller.
So, we eagerly await. If you pray, please pray over this appt. we want Anastasia to know as much as possible about her birth family, some details may not be appropriate for her now, but contact with her grandfather and a photo of her birthmother would be priceless.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Video Help Please!
I have tried many times to upload video using the video upload button, but it has never worked for me. How long does it usually take to upload video? Do I need to do something else?
Help me
Help me
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Worst Punishment Ever
So since she cut her hair, I was not going to reward her by taking her to the salon like I had planned. So she got a home haircut ala Mom.
Monday, September 7, 2009
What is an AFO?
These are pictures of Anastasia's AFOs, they had many different patterns to choose from, and in her defense the butterflies truly were the cutest. This week they will add hinges so she can bend at the ankle. She needed to build a little strength first.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The Trues
We had our first little lesson in truth and lies today. This was Anastasia's first complete day without me at school. Cody woke up with a sore throat. Gary took the younger 2 to school so I could stay with Cody and get him to the doctors. The last time she had most of the day at school to herself, she choose not to eat any of her sandwich at lunch and only at the snacks and dessert, then told the teacher she had no snack, haha, testing the reigns of independence and freedom of choice.
So overall it seems her first day totally without me went great. Until my eyes settled on her pretty little face and noticed that there was a chunk of hair missing. Yes, ladies and gentlemen we have a hair cutter!! Honestly I felt a little honored I mean as a boy Mom I may have never gotten to deal with this, but it seems every little girl deals her hand into a little hair chopping.
So I figured I'd give her a chance to out herself. My first thought was, well maybe she has no clue that this would not be acceptable. So I asked her, "Did you cut your hair" Of course she said no. "Mmm, I think you did, look at that piece right there."
At this point her teacher asked her, I mean that's who she owed the truth to really, it was on her clock that she cut her hair! And out came a big old creative whopper out of my precious daughter's mouth. " I was cutting a paperwork and I cut my hair, I not mean to" Her teacher expressed to her that she hoped she was telling the truth because if not she would have to take her scissors away from her like she does the other children when they do something they shouldn't with their scissors. But that was her story and she was sticking to it!! I even let her know that if she told me the truth that the punishment would be little but if she told me another lie that it would be big, and she choose to stick by her lie.
How I wished she had told the truth because I missed her while she was away all day, that is the longest I've been away from her. I just wanted to kiss her squishy cheeks I didn't want to have to deal out punishments and teach a lesson on telling the truth.
So when we got home she choose to stay by her lie, and laugh about it! Oh boy!
So she got 2 punishments, one was writing her teacher a letter to apologize.
And of course we had a long talk about lies and truth. Due to the language barrier, lies were explained as fake, and truth is what really happened. I know she knew that cutting her hair was wrong, she hid the evidence! She admitted to that. However it seemed to me she did not understand how wrong lying really is. Lying is a federal offense in my house, DO NOT DO IT!
Before bed she told me she did not want to make bad choices anymore and can I please tell her how to stop. I told her what a good girl she is (she truly is) and that sometimes we make bad choices, everyone, and that we need to try harder, and next time she needs to tell me the truth no matter what. I explained to her that God wants us to make good choices and when we don't he gets sad. I have to tread God lessons lightly because she is having a hard time understanding. She asked if I could lay in bed with her and talk because she had lotsa lotsa trues to tell me.
We love laying in bed talking. We used to do it so much more before school started.
I think saddly she learned something today that maybe has not been reinforced in her before.
So overall it seems her first day totally without me went great. Until my eyes settled on her pretty little face and noticed that there was a chunk of hair missing. Yes, ladies and gentlemen we have a hair cutter!! Honestly I felt a little honored I mean as a boy Mom I may have never gotten to deal with this, but it seems every little girl deals her hand into a little hair chopping.
So I figured I'd give her a chance to out herself. My first thought was, well maybe she has no clue that this would not be acceptable. So I asked her, "Did you cut your hair" Of course she said no. "Mmm, I think you did, look at that piece right there."
At this point her teacher asked her, I mean that's who she owed the truth to really, it was on her clock that she cut her hair! And out came a big old creative whopper out of my precious daughter's mouth. " I was cutting a paperwork and I cut my hair, I not mean to" Her teacher expressed to her that she hoped she was telling the truth because if not she would have to take her scissors away from her like she does the other children when they do something they shouldn't with their scissors. But that was her story and she was sticking to it!! I even let her know that if she told me the truth that the punishment would be little but if she told me another lie that it would be big, and she choose to stick by her lie.
How I wished she had told the truth because I missed her while she was away all day, that is the longest I've been away from her. I just wanted to kiss her squishy cheeks I didn't want to have to deal out punishments and teach a lesson on telling the truth.
So when we got home she choose to stay by her lie, and laugh about it! Oh boy!
So she got 2 punishments, one was writing her teacher a letter to apologize.
And of course we had a long talk about lies and truth. Due to the language barrier, lies were explained as fake, and truth is what really happened. I know she knew that cutting her hair was wrong, she hid the evidence! She admitted to that. However it seemed to me she did not understand how wrong lying really is. Lying is a federal offense in my house, DO NOT DO IT!
Before bed she told me she did not want to make bad choices anymore and can I please tell her how to stop. I told her what a good girl she is (she truly is) and that sometimes we make bad choices, everyone, and that we need to try harder, and next time she needs to tell me the truth no matter what. I explained to her that God wants us to make good choices and when we don't he gets sad. I have to tread God lessons lightly because she is having a hard time understanding. She asked if I could lay in bed with her and talk because she had lotsa lotsa trues to tell me.
We love laying in bed talking. We used to do it so much more before school started.
I think saddly she learned something today that maybe has not been reinforced in her before.
Pictures I Took Forever Ago and Never Posted
One of my goals this week is to catch up on picture posting. I took these several months ago, I know pitiful. But I love them and wanted to share them with you. They really do look related by blood, and in the pictures you can truly tell that they are related in their hearts.
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