After swimming yesterday we had lifegroup at our dear friends house. Anastasia fell asleep sitting next to me around 7:45, so we decided to call it a night. Upon arriving home Gary carried her in changed her and layed her down in her bed. She immediately started shaking and screaming for me. I went in and told her it was bed time, she was so upset, so I layed with her till she fell asleep. We are pretty sure this behavior is due to something relating to her mother's death. It is really the only time we have seen her cry, sometimes she seems terrified to go to bed, without me in particular. Once she snoring I left the room. She immediately popped back up screaming and running to the door. But this time, I was running short on patience, it was still very light outside, the room was well lit I didn't understand what there was for her to be scared of. I told her to get her butt back in the bed. I rubbed her back till she fell back to sleep. Repeat of screaming fit at soon as I leave the room. She also started screaming "up". I would just tell her no you are not getting up, you are tired, go back to sleep, get back into your bed, etc... Repeat, repeat, repeat. Finally after and hour of this, she shows me that she wants the door open, ugh, the whole time she was saying up she meant open!! She has always wanted the door wide open when she went to sleep on the rare occasion without me, but I thought it was to let light in. But there is something mental about having the door open, I truly felt bad. I opened the door, tucked her back in and kissed her goodnight, then went to my bed and was asleep within seconds.
She has asked before what if she died in her sleep, or what if I died in my sleep. God uses this experience time and time again to teach and mold me in my weakest area. I am not a patient bed time Mommy, my kids never got rocked for long periods of time, they get read to but then it's time to go to sleep, occasionaly I will lay with them for a couple minutes, but my ADD just won't let me relax long enough to stay longer. Well she is truly terrified and I need to build trust so I have been laying with her. I battle with this, because it causes jealousy in my boys, and it goes against my personality.
Haha, I just looked over at my bed, and the boys have disappeared to play outside, and she has fallen asleep, it's 8:15 and she has been up since 6:00 this morning.
We'll see how she does with me putting her in her bed!
Gosh, you and I sound so much alike, and our Anastasia's too!! But, I was the one who was getting scratched all the time . . . Stefan was the one who did bedtime in the beginning for 2 reasons; she didn't want me and I had a hard time being still for so long. So, I was the one who did the routine with the boys, who like your boys, were getting jealous of the amount of attention that was so abruptly demanded elsewhere . . . Take heart . . . it will pass! It's just so hard when you're so tired and in the middle of it all. We did a sticker-thing on a calendar in Sofia's room to help with bed time - I tried to describe it in one of my February posts ("a new era").
ReplyDeleteBarb
Barb,
ReplyDeleteI am going to go back and read some of your posts. I thought of you several times, thinking you must have dealt with some of the same issues especially when you went from an all boy household to adding a girl also!!
When we hosted her there were several times she let my husband put her to bed, but not without a little bit of a fight also.
Thanks!!!
Cara