Just been working on lot of paperwork. Gary and I both have to do this 8 page autobiography thing. So we been hacking away at that.
We have our first homestudy appt. on Monday. There will be a total of 4 appointments with out social worker:
1. Both Gary and I, at the social worker house, to discuss everything from the day we met to now.
2 and 3. are one each for Gary and I to discuss things one at a time with the social worker.
4. At our house, to inspect the safety of the house, make sure we have room for one more, and for her to meet the boys and get their take on everything.
Which by the way is total opposite for them.
Cooper of course wants nothing to do with anything that would take attention away from him. It has comforted him some to know that it's not a baby we are adopting. So now he says he wants a sister only if Cody does.
Cody has been awesome, beyond what I expected. He looks through the adoption brochures. He's found Russia on his globe in his room. He asks tons of questions. He is very sad that the process will take a long time. He set aside all the pink toys in the house, pink power rangers, etc... Him and Anastasia are the same size, and yesterday I was looking at clothes for her at the mall, wondering what the difference was between 6x and 7 and he let me hold up the girl pants to him so I could tell the difference.
He's really being so sweet and he is so excited!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
New News
We got the official word today that Anastasia is available for adoption!!!
The Hosting program sent us her first and last name, Date of birth, and orphanage #, so that the agency we plan on working with could check for us.
Her birthday is Feb. 2nd!!!!!!! Our boys birthdays are Feb 20th and Feb 22nd!!
Then we were emailed her hosting families information. I called and spoke to the mom, we only spoke for about 10 minutes, she was on the way out the door. But what she did have time to tell me was that Anastasia is a girly girl, sweet most of the time, loves dolls, dressing up, cooking, etc... But she's also a tough one. When presented with a walker that the host mom had borrowed for her, she was very offended, and would not use it. She said she can walk on her own, but does fall sometimes. She is going to email me the report from John Hopkins, which will be a help. Host mom did say her legs are very stiff, but from what she said it didn't seem to keep her from doing whatever she had her mind set to do.
Host Mom said Ana (I'm not nicknaming her yet, it's just a long name to type), listened well in church, and most of the time, but there were several instances when she threw temper tantrums (wouldn't be true girl if she didn't), the one she said was the worst was when she couldn't have a doll she wanted at the store. Thank God, Host Mom stood her ground and didn't buy it. She said they were even able to go back to the toy department without a problem. I thanked her, because we don't intend to give her everything she wants while she's here, especially since we hope to have her as a daughter one day, we don't want to create a monster.
Host Mom said she'll talk to me more later. She is also going to email me a picture of Ana playing dress up.
The Hosting program sent us her first and last name, Date of birth, and orphanage #, so that the agency we plan on working with could check for us.
Her birthday is Feb. 2nd!!!!!!! Our boys birthdays are Feb 20th and Feb 22nd!!
Then we were emailed her hosting families information. I called and spoke to the mom, we only spoke for about 10 minutes, she was on the way out the door. But what she did have time to tell me was that Anastasia is a girly girl, sweet most of the time, loves dolls, dressing up, cooking, etc... But she's also a tough one. When presented with a walker that the host mom had borrowed for her, she was very offended, and would not use it. She said she can walk on her own, but does fall sometimes. She is going to email me the report from John Hopkins, which will be a help. Host mom did say her legs are very stiff, but from what she said it didn't seem to keep her from doing whatever she had her mind set to do.
Host Mom said Ana (I'm not nicknaming her yet, it's just a long name to type), listened well in church, and most of the time, but there were several instances when she threw temper tantrums (wouldn't be true girl if she didn't), the one she said was the worst was when she couldn't have a doll she wanted at the store. Thank God, Host Mom stood her ground and didn't buy it. She said they were even able to go back to the toy department without a problem. I thanked her, because we don't intend to give her everything she wants while she's here, especially since we hope to have her as a daughter one day, we don't want to create a monster.
Host Mom said she'll talk to me more later. She is also going to email me a picture of Ana playing dress up.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Update-sorry it's been a while
Hello everyone.
I know it's been more than a couple days since I've updated. This process is very emotional and I told myself going into it that I was going to be patient and not freaking out all the time, well that's not happening.
First of all, I didn't hear back from the Host Director until yesterday (Friday).
I obtained a photolisting of those orphans that went back to their country this last week without being "spoken for"-meaning noone said they wanted to adopt them while they were here.
So there was one girl who caught my eye, a 6 year old, with mild Cerebral Palsy. Mostly affects here legs, does not use a walker or anything. We believe she is normal cognitively from what the summary said from her host family. I wasn't sure why it said she was up for adoption since she is only 6, from Latvia they have to be 9, I thought perhaps it was because she has special needs. Upon showing her to Gary, he was just as smitten as me, she's got one of those faces that shines with joy.
So yesterday I called the Host Director's cellphone. She is really busy since she leaves for Latvia today, but I had to know if this little girl was still available. So she says, oh yes she knows who the little girl is and yes she is available. But then she says, she is from Russia. UGHHHHHHHH. So I explain to her that I can't adopt from Russia because I take Zoloft, she says, yes you can I adopted from Russia and I take Zoloft.
Russia has no law against antidepressants (some do), it's just a prejudice that the country has against using those types of medications.
So I call our homestudy social worker, and she says if my doctor says I have no mental illness (which I don't, shush your mouth, some of you, I know what your thinking), then she does not have to disclose my meds!!!!
The director of the hosting program gave me the name of an adoption agency that she works with. I left them a message and the Owner/Director called me last night around 9:00. She warned me that he was hard to understand, he's from Astonia. Well that was a understatement!!! I had to concentrate really hard to understand him. He asked me several questions, like how many children do we have, how many bedrooms do we have, how much money do we make, and what do we do for livings, etc... Then he made it very clear to me, he needs the girls Name, Date of Birth, and Orphanage number, so he can make sure she is adoptable, he said he doesn't like people to get their hopes up to high until he finds that out first. Too late about the hopes being up.
The office manager will be getting me that information either tomorrow or Monday along with contact information of the family who hosted her so that we can get mor insight on what the girl is like.
Once we find out wether or not she's available we will post her name, and a little more information about her.
This week we sent in our application for the homestudy.
And we got our fingerprints and local back ground checks done.
This morning Gary mailed the fingerprints to the proper places (we hope).
I don't know how people went through this before the internet.
I know it's been more than a couple days since I've updated. This process is very emotional and I told myself going into it that I was going to be patient and not freaking out all the time, well that's not happening.
First of all, I didn't hear back from the Host Director until yesterday (Friday).
I obtained a photolisting of those orphans that went back to their country this last week without being "spoken for"-meaning noone said they wanted to adopt them while they were here.
So there was one girl who caught my eye, a 6 year old, with mild Cerebral Palsy. Mostly affects here legs, does not use a walker or anything. We believe she is normal cognitively from what the summary said from her host family. I wasn't sure why it said she was up for adoption since she is only 6, from Latvia they have to be 9, I thought perhaps it was because she has special needs. Upon showing her to Gary, he was just as smitten as me, she's got one of those faces that shines with joy.
So yesterday I called the Host Director's cellphone. She is really busy since she leaves for Latvia today, but I had to know if this little girl was still available. So she says, oh yes she knows who the little girl is and yes she is available. But then she says, she is from Russia. UGHHHHHHHH. So I explain to her that I can't adopt from Russia because I take Zoloft, she says, yes you can I adopted from Russia and I take Zoloft.
Russia has no law against antidepressants (some do), it's just a prejudice that the country has against using those types of medications.
So I call our homestudy social worker, and she says if my doctor says I have no mental illness (which I don't, shush your mouth, some of you, I know what your thinking), then she does not have to disclose my meds!!!!
The director of the hosting program gave me the name of an adoption agency that she works with. I left them a message and the Owner/Director called me last night around 9:00. She warned me that he was hard to understand, he's from Astonia. Well that was a understatement!!! I had to concentrate really hard to understand him. He asked me several questions, like how many children do we have, how many bedrooms do we have, how much money do we make, and what do we do for livings, etc... Then he made it very clear to me, he needs the girls Name, Date of Birth, and Orphanage number, so he can make sure she is adoptable, he said he doesn't like people to get their hopes up to high until he finds that out first. Too late about the hopes being up.
The office manager will be getting me that information either tomorrow or Monday along with contact information of the family who hosted her so that we can get mor insight on what the girl is like.
Once we find out wether or not she's available we will post her name, and a little more information about her.
This week we sent in our application for the homestudy.
And we got our fingerprints and local back ground checks done.
This morning Gary mailed the fingerprints to the proper places (we hope).
I don't know how people went through this before the internet.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
He will lead and I shall follow
So I am going to just paste the email in this post, except, I'll take out names of people and agencies and such.
Hello Cara!
Well this is just too funny....I have to tell you that apart from my work as Exec. Director of this agency, I assist families who wish to adopt from Latvia for a hosting program called New Horizons for Children. I do that work under One ***** Adoption Services. We use the same attorney that an **** Door uses! What a coincidence! I don't want to step on **** Door's toes as I believe they require you to use them for your home study if I am not mistaken? You may want to ask them if you are going to be working with them. We would be happy to work with you too and I certainly know what Latvia requires in the report so you would be well taken care of! Yes, you can start the home study without knowing the agency but I would not advise releasing it until whomever you decide to work with has reviewed the report.
Have you considered the possibility of hosting a child/children from Latvia through New Horizons this Christmas? They are planning a mission trip August 23rd to interview children for this Christmas. You could talk to New Horizon's Director about the child/ren you wish to adopt and she can be on the look out on her trip. Her name is **** ******. Please tell her I referred you! Their website is: http://www.newhorizonsforchildren.org/ and they also work with An **** Door so you can make a decision as to which avenue is best for your family if you hosted and then pursued adoption. Their summer hosting children just returned a couple of weeks ago and there are some who are not being adopted that you could even get more information on. You are aware that you can only adopt children age 9 and older from Latvia, right? Or a sibling group of three or more if under age 9, or special needs.
There is no longer independent adoptions from Latvia since the Hague was implemented on April 1st. So, you would have to file an I800A and I would not do this until you have found a Hague accredited placing agency to work with. I'm attaching instructions on how to do that (disregard the One ***** information until you have decided on an agency).
Once the home study is done you have to file CIS and prepare a dossier. I'm not sure if I'm answering this question correctly, can you explain a little more?
Thank you again and let me know what you think about all of this!
Yes, my jaw dropped to the floor, and I think a loud schreechy sound escaped my my mouth.
OK God, I get the point.
Hello Cara!
Well this is just too funny....I have to tell you that apart from my work as Exec. Director of this agency, I assist families who wish to adopt from Latvia for a hosting program called New Horizons for Children. I do that work under One ***** Adoption Services. We use the same attorney that an **** Door uses! What a coincidence! I don't want to step on **** Door's toes as I believe they require you to use them for your home study if I am not mistaken? You may want to ask them if you are going to be working with them. We would be happy to work with you too and I certainly know what Latvia requires in the report so you would be well taken care of! Yes, you can start the home study without knowing the agency but I would not advise releasing it until whomever you decide to work with has reviewed the report.
Have you considered the possibility of hosting a child/children from Latvia through New Horizons this Christmas? They are planning a mission trip August 23rd to interview children for this Christmas. You could talk to New Horizon's Director about the child/ren you wish to adopt and she can be on the look out on her trip. Her name is **** ******. Please tell her I referred you! Their website is: http://www.newhorizonsforchildren.org/ and they also work with An **** Door so you can make a decision as to which avenue is best for your family if you hosted and then pursued adoption. Their summer hosting children just returned a couple of weeks ago and there are some who are not being adopted that you could even get more information on. You are aware that you can only adopt children age 9 and older from Latvia, right? Or a sibling group of three or more if under age 9, or special needs.
There is no longer independent adoptions from Latvia since the Hague was implemented on April 1st. So, you would have to file an I800A and I would not do this until you have found a Hague accredited placing agency to work with. I'm attaching instructions on how to do that (disregard the One ***** information until you have decided on an agency).
Once the home study is done you have to file CIS and prepare a dossier. I'm not sure if I'm answering this question correctly, can you explain a little more?
Thank you again and let me know what you think about all of this!
Yes, my jaw dropped to the floor, and I think a loud schreechy sound escaped my my mouth.
OK God, I get the point.
the call to the agency
So Friday morning I tell myself I just need to call. Then we could at least figure out where to go from there. So I called the agency that the hosting program recommends. I was connected to a director and asked the big question. I felt like I was telling him I was a serial murderer, could I still adopt a child please? He said the only countries that the antidepressants would be alright with would be Latvia and Lithuania. He said all the children adopted by foreigners would be 9 years or older. Somehow I was good with that. Like I said -decisions that we never thought we would make. I think because I could really tell that it was not me in control here, and I was being lead to whatever our decision was supposed to be and we would not be given more than we could handle.
Before I went to dinner last night I filled out forms on 2 different home study sites to be contacted with more information. But for some reason I said we were undecided on agency and country. Man, was I waiting for God to hit me up side the head or what?
I immediately received a reply email form of the agencies from a very nice lady I'll call SWLady (SW stands for social work). SWLady lets me know that they have someone in our town that could help us, and that they try to get things done as quickly as possible. Overall she was very nice and informative. So I shoot her back an email telling her that actually we were thinking of Latvia, had spoken to one agency, but had not decided on anything yet.
I tell Gary she is very nice and that I thought we should use them to do our home study.
When I got back from dinner she had emailed me back.
Before I went to dinner last night I filled out forms on 2 different home study sites to be contacted with more information. But for some reason I said we were undecided on agency and country. Man, was I waiting for God to hit me up side the head or what?
I immediately received a reply email form of the agencies from a very nice lady I'll call SWLady (SW stands for social work). SWLady lets me know that they have someone in our town that could help us, and that they try to get things done as quickly as possible. Overall she was very nice and informative. So I shoot her back an email telling her that actually we were thinking of Latvia, had spoken to one agency, but had not decided on anything yet.
I tell Gary she is very nice and that I thought we should use them to do our home study.
When I got back from dinner she had emailed me back.
our adoption options-or not
In the mean time I start researching our adoption options. Like I said I really felt like Ukraine was not for us. Over the next couple days I had requested information packages from several agencies. The options were overwhelming, as well the costs involved as everyone knows.
So Wednesday I get my first packet in the mail. As I start reading I run into the information about parent requirements, most of which I was aware of: age, marriage time, etc..
Well then comes a statement that would quickly limit our options. It was something to the tune of: Countries A,B,C,D, and E will NOT consider parents who are currently taking or have taken antidepressants in the past several years. WHAT? Not even for simple issues like clinical depression or anxiety. So I knew my diagnosis of fire-breathing PMS would not fly with them.
At this point I'm disappointed , but not like I would expect. I had a feeling God was closing doors to show me which ones were open. The options had been overwhelming. And well now, they were very limited, really I wasn't sure now what our options were. Domestic adoption was one, but it's not one that we were considering, even though they would accept parents with antidepressant history.
In the back of my mind I had the possibility of getting to host a child we would want to adopt from the hosting program. But I figured we would just wait that out till they put the Bios and information for the host children up on the website in September. Gary had put the application in Excel form for me so we could type it up.
And I figured I better get ahold of an agency that dealt with Latvian adoption to see what Latvia's policy on the antidepressant thing was. But I couldn't get up the nerve I was too afraid of what they would say.
So Wednesday I get my first packet in the mail. As I start reading I run into the information about parent requirements, most of which I was aware of: age, marriage time, etc..
Well then comes a statement that would quickly limit our options. It was something to the tune of: Countries A,B,C,D, and E will NOT consider parents who are currently taking or have taken antidepressants in the past several years. WHAT? Not even for simple issues like clinical depression or anxiety. So I knew my diagnosis of fire-breathing PMS would not fly with them.
At this point I'm disappointed , but not like I would expect. I had a feeling God was closing doors to show me which ones were open. The options had been overwhelming. And well now, they were very limited, really I wasn't sure now what our options were. Domestic adoption was one, but it's not one that we were considering, even though they would accept parents with antidepressant history.
In the back of my mind I had the possibility of getting to host a child we would want to adopt from the hosting program. But I figured we would just wait that out till they put the Bios and information for the host children up on the website in September. Gary had put the application in Excel form for me so we could type it up.
And I figured I better get ahold of an agency that dealt with Latvian adoption to see what Latvia's policy on the antidepressant thing was. But I couldn't get up the nerve I was too afraid of what they would say.
continued...
I did more research on the Host program out of Atlanta -New Horizons for Children-
It is a Christian organization, meant to give these children a chance to experience America and a christian family life for a month. And in addition, although it is not an adoption agency, it does give these children a chance at being adopted, that they would not otherwise have. It gives people a chance to see what adding an older child to their family would be like. About 80% of the host children end up getting adopted by their host families or someone they met while here in the states.
I found other blogs online that people had made about their experience with the hosting program and for some of them, the experience of adopting these children afterward.
So as I read all this information, I am shaking and have tears in my eyes. I have this overwhelming feeling this is something that's going to have a huge impact on our lives.
It is a Christian organization, meant to give these children a chance to experience America and a christian family life for a month. And in addition, although it is not an adoption agency, it does give these children a chance at being adopted, that they would not otherwise have. It gives people a chance to see what adding an older child to their family would be like. About 80% of the host children end up getting adopted by their host families or someone they met while here in the states.
I found other blogs online that people had made about their experience with the hosting program and for some of them, the experience of adopting these children afterward.
So as I read all this information, I am shaking and have tears in my eyes. I have this overwhelming feeling this is something that's going to have a huge impact on our lives.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Closed Doors that lead to Open ones
After reading all about the Hosting program it sounded like a real possibility and like God had lead me right to it. But it wasn't what I had imagined, so I kept researching. Well Wednesday I got my first packet in the mail from one of the agencies I had requested information from. I was so excited. As I was reading through the information I come across a road block it states something to fact of " Country A, B, C, D, E and F will not consider parents who have taken antidepressants in the last 5 years." Even if it's for mild depression or anxiety. So I knew my diagnosis of fire-spitting PMS wasn't going to fly either. So basically all the countries we could consider were way to expensive or didn't accept any parents with a history of antidepressants.
In the mean time I was researching Latvia and the Hosting Program. I ran into stories of many successful adoptions resulting from the Hosting. Only 20% go in with the attention of adopting and over 80% of the children get adopted!! I should probably explain that the Hosting is meant as an opportunity for the children to have an experience in a Faith based home and to allow people to sort of test out how an older child may fit into their family. It is not an adoption agency, but does have connections to some that they recommend.
Adding On
So to many of you this will be new news but we are starting the adoption process.
It has been a crazy few days, full of decisions, decisions we never thought we would make.
First off from the beginning, I always said I wanted to adopt. But I wasn't ever sure if Gary would ever really want to. But as our kids are not babies anymore we have realized we want a bigger family. I can't handle another pregnancy and I certainly cannot handle another baby with colic. So we did always know that we would not be having another on our own, and we would not be adopting an infant. So about 6 months ago I told Gary I was ready, and asked if he really ever thought it was something he would want to do. He said yes-eventually. So I just told him to tell me when. Well he did tell me when, this Sunday. So you better believe I hopped right on the computer to research our options.
Several of you know that Ukraine was our intended country. But something told me that was not the right country for us, after over a year of me thinking it was. So I thought alright, I'll just start researching other countries. Well some are upwards of 50,000, I ruled those out. On Monday I was researching and came upon a site about hosting older children for the summer to come and live with you, experience an american family life, etc...
So I did a search for host programs out of Atlanta and New Horizons for Children popped up.
They host Latvian orphans, they have summer program and a winter program. Children are recommended by the directors of the orphanage usually for doing well in school, good behavior, etc... Then people from the agency go and interview the children and decide who will be host children. Oh and by the way I had never heard of Latvia, it is next to Russia FYI.
Sooooooooooo as I'm reading this, I am getting to excited. Actually excited is not the right word for it. I started crying. Not only do they have a winter hosting program, but they are traveling there August 23 and shortly after will have a photolisting and bios of the children for people to choose from. How cool is that, not only is God answering my prayers but He know I like immediate results and boy is He giving them to me. So I call Gary and tell him and he's totally on board. Even though these children are a little older than we imagined we would be adopting.
--Ok I'm going to split this up into several posts because I ramble and some people may not want to read it all at one time.--
It has been a crazy few days, full of decisions, decisions we never thought we would make.
First off from the beginning, I always said I wanted to adopt. But I wasn't ever sure if Gary would ever really want to. But as our kids are not babies anymore we have realized we want a bigger family. I can't handle another pregnancy and I certainly cannot handle another baby with colic. So we did always know that we would not be having another on our own, and we would not be adopting an infant. So about 6 months ago I told Gary I was ready, and asked if he really ever thought it was something he would want to do. He said yes-eventually. So I just told him to tell me when. Well he did tell me when, this Sunday. So you better believe I hopped right on the computer to research our options.
Several of you know that Ukraine was our intended country. But something told me that was not the right country for us, after over a year of me thinking it was. So I thought alright, I'll just start researching other countries. Well some are upwards of 50,000, I ruled those out. On Monday I was researching and came upon a site about hosting older children for the summer to come and live with you, experience an american family life, etc...
So I did a search for host programs out of Atlanta and New Horizons for Children popped up.
They host Latvian orphans, they have summer program and a winter program. Children are recommended by the directors of the orphanage usually for doing well in school, good behavior, etc... Then people from the agency go and interview the children and decide who will be host children. Oh and by the way I had never heard of Latvia, it is next to Russia FYI.
Sooooooooooo as I'm reading this, I am getting to excited. Actually excited is not the right word for it. I started crying. Not only do they have a winter hosting program, but they are traveling there August 23 and shortly after will have a photolisting and bios of the children for people to choose from. How cool is that, not only is God answering my prayers but He know I like immediate results and boy is He giving them to me. So I call Gary and tell him and he's totally on board. Even though these children are a little older than we imagined we would be adopting.
--Ok I'm going to split this up into several posts because I ramble and some people may not want to read it all at one time.--
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