Bad Blogger

I know, I'm not a good blogger. I didn't do a Christmas post or a New Years post. I sat down to do one yesterday, but my computer says it's full and I cannot download any pictures, really the same week my husband leaves my computer decides it is full??
2 of the Wii remotes won't work, the cat has decided she would rather poop on the floor rather than the litter box, etc... so is the life a military wife with a deployed spouse. All of our pictures have been moved to an external harddrive, I compressed, I emptied the recycl bin, yadda, yadda, still won't let me download.
Our Christmas was great, the kids had a blast and loved all of their presents. Papaw came for a surprise visit and to visit with Gary before he departed for his deployment Monday morning. We spent the evening with close friends. A very laid back, but joyful Christmas.
My youngest is 5 and he is having anxiety issues, not letting me leave him anywhere. church, babysitters, his friends house, etc...and if I do he cries for a long time. This all started after we told him about the upcoming deployment about a month ago. Yesterday we went to a play place, kind of like Chuck E. Cheese, he sat with me for 2 hours before he would finally get up and play. Tonight is the first night that he did not cry himself to sleep since Gary left. He says he wants to go have fun, but that he does not want to leave me where he can't see me. As soon as we are in a situation he fears this could happen, his stomach hurts. Poor little guy.
So New Years Eve we spent with friends, had a great time. When we headed home a little after midnight, it was very foggy out. We got a little more than half way home, and all of a sudden I couldn't see anything, total white in front of me. I braked hard, then slowwly pulled off to get off the road. The car that came up behind me did the same, and the car after that slammed on his brakes and almost rearended us all. My anxiety child was freaking out, thinking we are about to die, or never make it home, etc... So, I get out of the car to see where I am, there is one of those huge brick mailboxes about 2 feet in front of my car, it was so foggy I couldn't see if from my car. So I pulled into that driveway, so we would be out of harms way. I decided it would be best to turn around, like one of the cars behind me did. I figured maybe the main roads would be better. They were for a while, then all of a sudden, a big line of cars ahead of me were braking suddenly, some with their hazards on, all of a sudden couldn't see anything, but a solid white cloud. So I decided our safety, and Cooper's anxiety level or more important than getting home and we turned around and went back to our friends' house to sleep for the night.
The yard I pulled over into has my tire tracks in it today, oops sorry, but Thank God I didn't get stuck in their yard, and thank God we were safe.
Today I am working on undecorating our huge tree and taking down the Christmas decorations.
I don't feel like saying Happy New Year, when half of it will be spent without my Best Friend. But I know like all hardships, God has great things in store. I will be stronger and have more empathy for others who do this all the time. It feels wrong to feel like I just want the first half of this year to fly by so I can have our family back together, I pray for strength, patience, and wisdom every morning before I even get out of the bed.
So, keep me company, leave me a comment, not a pity party, I give myself enough of those, say Hi, tell me a little bit about yourself, ask me a question, people always have questions about the adoption or military life, talk to me people.